The Self Concept & Positive Change

In person-centred counselling, the self-concept is a core idea that can help towards understanding how you see yourself, including your:

• Self-image (how you see yourself now)

• Ideal self (how you wish to be)

• Self-worth (how much you value yourself)

  
  

These aspects shape your beliefs, behaviors, and emotions. The closer your self-image is to your ideal self (called congruence), the healthier and more positive your self-concept tends to be. When there’s a big gap (called incongruence), it often leads to distress or low self-esteem. Your self-concept is the story you tell yourself about who you are- this happens both consciously and unconsciously. Person-centred counselling empowers you to rewrite that story- not by striving to become someone else, but by becoming more fully yourself. Real change begins not with criticism, but with compassionate self-understanding.

How You Can Use This Theory to Create Positive Change

1. Become Aware of Your Self-Concept

   - Reflect on your current self-image: How do I see myself?

   - Define your ideal self: Who do I want to be?

   - Evaluate your self-worth: How do I value myself and my needs?

   
   

2. Identify Incongruences

   - Notice areas where your self-image doesn’t align with your ideal self.

   - Ask: What beliefs or behaviours keep me stuck in this gap?

   
   

3. Practice Self-Acceptance

   - A key part of person-centred theory is unconditional positive regard- accepting yourself without judgment.

   - Instead of focusing on “fixing” yourself, focus on understanding and accepting your feelings, even the difficult ones.

   
   

4. Create a Safe Internal Environment

   - Person-centred counselling relies on empathy, genuineness, and acceptance. You can mirror this in your self-talk:

   - Be honest with yourself (genuineness)

   - Be kind and non-judgmental (acceptance)

   - Try to deeply understand your emotions and needs (empathy)

   
   

5. Close the Gap Between Self-Image and Ideal Self

   - Set small, authentic goals that align with your values.

   - Celebrate progress rather than perfection.

   - Reevaluate whether your "ideal self" is realistic, healthy, and truly yours- not shaped by others’ expectations.

   
   

6. Seek Relationships That Support Your Growth

   - Growth happens best in safe, validating environments.

   - Surround yourself with people who offer acceptance and encouragement—this reinforces a healthier self-concept.

   
   

   The therapeutic space provided by a trusted practitioner can be greatly beneficial in supporting our personal journey's and exploring aspects of ourselves and our worlds that we haven't yet acknowledged. In turn we bring our true selves and beliefs to the fore front, and lead with an empowered knowing of who we are and what we stand for.